Individual Stories
AIDS is a global problem, but it affects people one at a time. Every story is personal. Every story is unique. And every story is human.
Irma
My name is Irma Mercedes Rosales Machado. I am the mother of three children and am 23 years old. I got married when I was 14 years old, because like any 14 year old, I was looking for love and someone to take care of me. In the 4 years that we were together, we had one child and I was pregnant with the second when he abandoned us to go work in the United States. I never heard from him again.
I was left with no money and had to find a job to support myself and my two children. When I found work in a factory, I met my second partner, Junior, with whom I had a third child. We got along well, and he assured me that he wasn't infected. A few months after my child was born, I got really sick. My father took me to a clinic and to Samaritans Purse where they tested me for HIV. The exam came back positive. When I arrived home that day and told Junior, he yelled at me and told me I was lying.
After finding out that I was HIV positive, my dad threatened to kill Junior and made him leave the house. Junior continued to live in disbelief that he could be HIV positive. He fell into a depression and began drinking frequently, but he still managed to continue working and to support us.
Eventually, I started feeling better, but I was still sick. Through the recommendation of Samaritans Purse, I came to Siempre Unidos in February. I started on ARV treatment and began to gain more strength. Junior finally decided to have exams done and begin treatment. However, his decision came to late. He had an appointment set for April 18th of this year to begin treatment, but he died April 12th in the public hospital.
My dad had at first thought that perhaps I really wasn't infected, that it was all a lie, but when Junior died, he knew it was the truth. He stopped talking to me and kicked me out. Although I was left with nothing, I continued to come to Siempre Unidos for help. Sometimes I sold hens to pay for the consult, but often did not even have the money to pay. One day, Rev. Pascual Torres called me in to talk to him. He suggested that I start working at Siempre Sol, even though I had no experience working with sewing machines. Now, with the money I make from Siempre Sol, I can pay the rent and I have money to support my children. I feel healthy physically, mentally and spiritually. I still struggle with depression, but I've found a source of strength in the community of Siempre Sol and of Siempre Unidos. Some days, I even forget that I am a person living with HIV. In November, I will get the last test done on my youngest child to see if he is positive. My trials are not over, but with the help of Siempre Sol and Siempre Unidos, perhaps getting through these trials will be easier for me.
Marta Odelia
I think that I lived with the disease for many years before I knew that I was HIV positive. I contracted the disease from my husband. I was living in Roatan at the time after my husband left me, and I started to feel strong stomach pains. I developed a rash all over my body, on my arms, on my stomach. I also became very skinny. I went to the hospital for treatment and they told me it wasn't AIDS, but none of the medicine they gave me helped. A few months later I went back to the hospital and they told me I should get tested for HIV. The test came back positive, and I was so afraid that my children would abandon me. Especially, I was afraid that my oldest son would reject me. I feared that if I told him I was infected with HIV, he would say that it was my fault. When I finally told my son that I was HIV positive, he didn't believe me and took me to get another test. Again it was positive. He was very angry, but he didn't disown me.
After learning that I was HIV positive, I felt like I was going crazy. But I told myself that I had to keep living. I started taking anti-retroviral drugs a year and a half ago when I began receiving treatment at the Siempre Unidos clinic in Siguatepeque. My health began to improve. I met the Reverend Pascual Torres the first time that I attended a Siempre Unidos support group meeting. I am so grateful to the work of the Reverend and the clinical staff members of Siempre Unidos. I don't feel discriminated against in the clinic, although I've been discriminated against by others. There are people who think that I'm disgusting. In the past, there were people who wouldn't eat the food that I cooked because they thought they would be infected with HIV. I have another son who disowned me because he was afraid that I would infect his children. But I feel good about life now, and with the power of God I keep going.
My work helps me a lot with my mental health because it allows me not to think about my condition all of the time. I live alone, and when I'm at home I start to worry and feel depressed. The work I do makes me feel good and it's beautiful work. I work with my friends and I laugh a lot. I want to tell everyone who is infected with HIV and not receiving treatment to get help. They should know that they can get treatment at Siempre Unidos and keep on living.
Loren
I found out that I was HIV positive on August 24, 2004. I was in the hospital for four and a half months. I had separated from my abusive husband three years before. He died the following October in 2004 and he was HIV positive. I didn't know that he was infected, but I contracted the disease from him. They told me in the hospital that my husband had AIDS, and that he had infected me. I didn't believe the doctor because it had been three years since he left. At the time I didn't know much about the disease.
When they told me that I was positive, I didn't react at all. But afterwards, I became really depressed. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep. I felt like no one loved me. I was afraid that my husband's family would reject me. I felt really sad most of the time. I cried a lot and I felt a lot of hate. I didn't leave the house but just stayed inside watching TV all of the time. I felt so alone. I thought about committing suicide.
A good friend of mine who is HIV positive helped me overcome my depression. He told me that I could live for 10 or 15 years healthily with the disease, and that I could continue to have a happy life and have love as long as I took care of myself and used protection in my relationships. He brought me back to reality. I found out about Siempre Unidos through him. He introduced me to the nurse and the doctor here in the clinic. They were very nice and very understanding and offered me the support that I needed.
I am so appreciative of all the help that Reverend Pascual and Siempre Unidos have given me. With their help I have finally found the peace that I was looking for.
I want to tell all the women of today that we are strong and we can fight against male machismo. We have many rights. If you've been mistreated or mentally or physically abused by your husband, we are now saying that it has to stop. To those women who have been infected with the HIV virus, don't tell yourself that you're going to die. You have to survive. You have to live, take care of yourself, and be healthy. We have to keep living for our children and for ourselves.
Angelina
13 years ago, I married a man who was HIV positive without knowing it. My husband knew, but he didn't tell me because he was in denial that HIV was a serious illness. Of the two children we had together, the younger one passed away. Although I didn't know it at the time, I've been told that with the symptoms he had, it is clear that he died from AIDS. After my child's death, I became very depressed and separated from my husband. The depression led to illness and I soon found myself in the hospital. It was then that I found out I was HIV positive. Having no knowledge of what HIV was, I thought I would die the next day.
After a few months in the hospital, however, I got better and returned to work. I then had a relapse and spent 6 months in the hospital. It was during that time that I met Dr. Alda Santos, the physician at Siempre Unidos. Dr. Santos recommended that my treatment be overseen by Siempre Unidos. After 6 months in the hospital, I was moved to a hospice. I had lost my sight, my hearing, my taste, and I couldn't walk. I was basically like a vegetable. Through the grace of God, the help of Siempre Unidos and ARVs, my health recovered. When I was able to walk on my own, Dr. Santos recommended that I take a job at Siempre Sol. Dr. Santos suggested that the employment would not only help me physically, but would also give me mental strength. Even though I still couldn't see or move very well, I was still offered the job.
I am lucky. Through all of these events, my family has been by my side supporting me. Siempre Sol has also become my family, and I am very grateful for the opportunity to be surrounded each day by such amazing friends.
Carlos
I found out that I was HIV positive a year after my lover died. I was having an affair with another woman. I was afraid I had the disease, but I didn't get tested until I became really sick and had to go to the hospital. Finding out that I was HIV positive was the worst thing that ever happened to me. I tried committing suicide two times. My wife left me and I wasn't able to see my daughter. I was isolated from my family and friends. I felt so alone and abandoned. It was a very difficult time for me, but now I thank God that I wasn't able to end my life.
I started receiving antiretroviral treatment at a public hospital. I was living in a hospice at the time and I met other people living with HIV. We were able to support each other. I felt loved and I appreciated their help a lot.
After I left the hospice I started coming to Siempre Unidos, but after the first week I stopped coming. I still couldn't handle the fact that I was HIV positive. I didn't return to Siempre Unidos until two years later. I became sick again and had to be hospitalized. In the hospital they recommended that I continue receiving treatment from the Episcopal ministries. At that point, I was finally ready to let go of my past life. I had overcome my demons and was I ready to get help.
When I found out about the work project in Siempre Sol I was working somewhere else, but I decided to quit my job and start working here. I knew that this would be a better work environment for me. It is such a joy to work for Siempre Sol. Being here is like being with my family. When I'm here I forget all of my negative thoughts. I've never felt happier in my life. Everyday I wake up at 5 in the morning thinking that I have to go to work. I love knowing that I'm learning new skills. Before I had always worked as a farmhand picking coffee beans. I've never made jewelry before but I've been able to do very well. I like knowing the fact that I am making something for others.
Finding Siempre Unidos, and finding a new family, is a symbol of God's grace and God's work. I know that the people here love me and treat me sincerely, which is the greatest gift in the world.
Marina
I got married 16 years ago at the age of 19. In 1998, my husband got very sick. When I found out that it was because he was HIV positive, I took my three children with me to the health center and we all got tested. My test came back positive, but fortunately, all of my kids were negative. Although my husband was the one who infected me, I decided that it was important to stay with him and to have one another for support.
I first began treatment in the public hospital, but was recommended to Siempre Unidos by a medical brigade that came to San Pedro in 2001. That year I started my ARV treatment with a CD4 count of 202. My CD4 count is now 576.
When I first found out I was HIV positive, I thought my life was over. However, through Siempre Unidos I have learned how to take care of myself and have been given hope. I started working at Siempre Sol one year ago and love my job. I feel that I've learned valuable skills, and am very proud of the high quality materials we produce. But more importantly, I feel blessed for the opportunity to work and to contribute to my family's well being.
Perla
I am 24 and am affected, not infected, by AIDS. When I was 14, my Dad got very sick. They sent him to have exams done, and on his birthday he received the news that he was HIV positive. I didn't know that all of this had occurred at the time, I only saw that my father and mother were very sad and I would often hear them crying in the middle of the night. I found out about my father's status because I stole the keys to a drawer where my parents kept important documents. In that drawer were the results of my father´s test.
What helped me the most was that I had been exposed previously to talks about HIV and AIDS. My school gave me permission to start working in a factory at the age of 12 where the organization COMVIDA did a lot of work in HIV/AIDS education. But still, I suffered, my whole family suffered.
I was married in 1999 at the age of 17 and had my first child before my father died from AIDS in 2002. But at the end of his life, my father was so depressed he didn't even want to talk to his own grandchild. In 2007 I began working at Siempre Sol. I had been fired from my previous employer because the business changed owners and they let a large number of people go. My mother (who is HIV positive) was already working at Siempre Sol and helped me get the job. Siempre Sol has been a wonderful opportunity for me to learn about what it means to be HIV positive, and to spend more time with my mother.